USA Today

"Madden Revived by Golf Game"

Football isn't John Madden's only game. Ann Liguori recently spent time with the broadcaster on the golf course and on his Madden Cruiser

Q: This bus is "happening."

A: Yeah. People think that when you travel by bus you just lose days, but I
do everything on the bus that everyone else can do. We have a satellite TV,
we have telephones, fax and a computer. We have a kitchen, bathrooms, shower
and bedroom.

Q: So how's your golf game?

A: Not very good. Anyone that's an old lineman is never a good golfer because
see, in football, you're always taught to keep your head up and hit
everything as hard as you can and then you go play golf and they tell you to
keep your head down and swing easy. As an old lineman, you never swing easy
at anything and you never kept your head down because if you ever want to get
beaten, you get your nose over your toes, you get your head down and anytime
you put your head down, you lose your power.

If you ever hear anyone put "about" in front of their handicap, they're not
telling the truth.

Q: What's your handicap?

A: My handicap right now, and I'm not proud of this, but I carry it on my
person, is 18.7. So that's not good. Well, that's an old lineman. It's not
"about" 18.6 or 18.8. In fact a month ago it was 18.8, and I don't know what
the heck I did to get it down to 18.7. I kind of keep the ball in play, but I
keep it in play for a while and that's the thing with golf. If you're going
to be bad, you want to play tennis, because if you're bad at tennis, it's
over quickly. If you're bad at golf, it's just prolonged.

Q: It's the most humbling sport of any sport I've ever played.

A: And you do stupid things. You wear clothes when you play golf that you
wouldn't wear anyplace else, and you do things - I mean, intelligent people,
they wouldn't sit down at home and talk to their golf ball at home. They go
on the golf course and they talk to the ball. They do! "Come back! Jump! Hit!
Skip! Bite!" And the ball doesn't come back. What's worse than a guy talking
to his own golf ball is him talking to your golf ball. Like, you ever hit a
bad shot? I hate when I hit one and it's going in the trees, don't say: "Come
back!" Just shut up!

Some people want to go look for your golf balls. I have a saying. I say,
"FIDO." And FIDO means, "Forget it, drive on." Forget the ball! Just drive
on! But they won't let you do that.

Q: Tell me the most interesting group of people you've ever played with.

A: There's only one guy that I really compete with because I admit that I'm
not a good golfer so therefore that's like a disclaimer that I don't have to
compete. I mean, I've competed for a large part of my life and I'm highly
competitive. I'm competitive to a point that I can go overboard and I didn't
want to do that with golf so I admit that I'm not any good and I don't play
well and I don't care.

Now, I lose to Don Shula. I competed against Don Shula all of my professional
life, and we had great games when he was at Miami and I was at Oakland. So I
play him in golf and it starts off and I beat him at the first four or five
holes so I think, I start telling jokes, I'm laughing. So he beats me! So I
didn't think anything about it because I don't care. Now he pulls out the
scorecard at the end and said, "Here, will you sign this?" I said, "For
what?" He said, "Because I beat you." And I said, "I didn't know we were
competing."

So I'm driving home after that and I thought, "I forgot how to compete! I've
gotten to a point in my life where I don't know how to compete anymore!" So I
chase Don Shula for two years and the harder I tried, I still couldn't beat
him. A year ago last summer, I played him on a Saturday and we broke even. I
played him on the Sunday and I beat him. So then he says, "OK, we'll play
tomorrow." And I said, "Call me." So then I never played him again.

Q: What is your most memorable golf moment?

A: I haven't had it yet! All my moments in golf are embarrassing when I've
been participating. When I was a kid I sneaked into the San Francisco Country
Club. Found a pass right there for the U.S. Open, it was the Olympic Club. I
sneaked in through the fence, found a patch right there and it was the year
that Jack Fleck won.

I think one of my most enjoyable moments was just this last year when I went
to The Masters for the first time at Augusta. That was really special. You
could just tell, just walking, you knew they called the hallowed grounds and
I never knew what hallowed grounds meant but you walk there and those were
hallowed grounds.